Saturday, May 14, 2016

Hold me closer Tony Danza: April 19, 2012

Everyone has done it. You're riding along in the car listening to the radio, really getting into the song and all of a sudden you belt out what you think are the song lyrics and your co-pilot politely informs you that you are sadly mistaken.

"What did you just say?"

"...She's got a tick in her eye but she don't care."

"I think the real lyrics are 'She's got a ticket to ride, but she don't care.'"


I do this a lot. Isaac and I like to play this game in the car where for every song lyric you flub you get a strike. 3 strikes and your out. Not physically out of the car (I would be walking everywhere), you just don't get to sing anymore. This makes for a very quiet car ride. 

Elton John lyrics get me all the time. One time I was at Sipango with some friends and we were feeding the jukebox with requests. Being the big Elton John fan that I am I decided to play "Benny and the Jets." It was trivia night at Sipango and some bar slug decides to join our table (much to our dismay). I think he actually lives at Sipango because I've only been there 3 times and every time I go he is always there making his rounds, hitting on anything that moves. So my song comes on and I'm singing along...

"Shes got electric boobs, a motor too
You know I read it in a magazine
B-B-B Benny and the Jets..."

The slug looks at me and says...

 "You know that's not the right words don't you?"

Of course they were the right words. I know my Elton John. I sing him in the shower every other  day! He then proceeds to tell me that the right lyrics are...
"Shes got electric boots, a mohair suit
You know I read it in a magazine
B-B-B Benny and the Jets."


After this I was no longer worried about him sitting at our table and hitting on us. He was clearly not straight. 

Here are a few more examples of my embarrassing moments in singing.

Song: Queen-Bohemian Rhapsody
What I sing:“Scare a moose, scare a moose, will you do my fan Van Gogh?”
Actual Lyrics: “Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?”

Song: Toto- Africa
What I sing: "There's nothing that a hundred men on mars could ever do."
Actual Lyrics: There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do."

Song: Alanis Morissette- You oughta know
What I sing: "It's not fair to deny me of the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me..."
Actual Lyrics: It's not fair to deny me of the cross I bear that you gave to me..."

Song: Hanson: MmmBop
What I sing: MmmBop take your top off doowop duba doo doo wop
Actual Lyrics: Who the heck even knows

You get the picture. 

Here's to riding in the car, one embarrassing song lyric at a time. 

"Hold me closer Tony Danza"

"Um I think its 'Hold me closer Tiny Dancer.'"


**UPDATE** I still don't know the lyrics to half the songs I sing. And half is being generous. 

"Sweet dreams are made of cheese." 

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